STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
