I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
