there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
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She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
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you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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