They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
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It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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