So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
