i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
