i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
