Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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