Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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