I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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