I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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