that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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