No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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