i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
