I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
