Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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