He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
