I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
