guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
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I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
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He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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