I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
