Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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