The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
