Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It was confusing and full of hummus
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
