Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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