Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
