you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize