He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
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the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
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I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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