I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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