What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
