She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
