We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
