how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
