Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
