what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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