Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I wish they made helmets for livers.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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