I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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