is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
bring money and cleavage
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
