Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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