I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
