my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
