she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I have post one night stand depression
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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