and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
