Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
