I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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