i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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