adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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