I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
