I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
