i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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