Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize