He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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