you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
