somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
