I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
