just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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