may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
