Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize