You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We have started to decorate penises.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
