He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
